1 Single Thing.

Is it really that fragile?

Is that the first time?

Nope it isn’t.

Is that the second time?

Definitely not.

How many times then?

No idea.

How many times since my love and concern for you was returned with vents and scolding?

I’m tearing up when i’m typing this.

Everything that i did was for you.

I skipped outings, gatherings, quarreled with parents.

What is it for?

To spend time with you. I have never done this for anyone else. First time i suppose.

So is love really like that? Does this happen when you love someone too much? I’m worried. I was so worried that i kept calling. However… it seems that my calls are plain irritating.

I longed to talk to you after a long day at work. I longed to hear your voice. I longed to hear you call my name.

I love you.

I believe that even the heart have emotions.

If not.. why do they squirm when this happens?

Is it that difficult to just tell me nicely?

Am i that difficult to be with?

My heartaches. So bad that i have no idea what to do.

Will going to look for you help?

Or i might just be chased home..

Please don’t do this to me…

It’s so much easier to live life without any expectations.

I’m always the one hoping.

Hoping that whatever I do to you there will be reciprocates.

Alot of times I do it right.

Many others i screwed it up.

Now tell me.. how do i care for you?

I cant seem to lift myself out of this shit anymore.

Save me. that’s what i’d say.

But wake up! you chose this path. you did this to yourself. what more could people say? Moron.

Learning to let go seems to be the hardest thing to do.

What I can do is not even care. However, I just cant do that.

Now u have so many things going on.

On one side.. the selfish me wants to spend more time with you.

but i also understand your limitations. Little do i want to trap you like a bird.

Tell me… what should i do.

Pathetic Person.

well, guess what?

I think I’m pretty pathetic.

Maybe not just pretty pathetic, but moron.

I should not have let myself fall into it.

I should have pre-empt that this would have happened. but i guess i over-looked it.

All the things you have said to me, its deeply etched in me.

Why? Cos no one has ever said that to me. You were the first. Is it wrong to think that it will be like this forever?

I felt special. To be treated so specially. I felt loved. Very loved in fact. Are all relationships like that for you?

We always try to find the purpose of life. I thought i found mine. but it was all but a fascade. A fascade that i created myself, only to wake up in fear of everything taken away from me.

Whenever i doubt others..i realised.. i’m just insecure about myself actually.. it’s not sad. it’s more of a realization.

The reality is cruel. Many times we accuse others of the things they do to us. But we dont recognise that we did all these to ourselves.

This isn’t Karma. This is simply Stupidity. Plain stupid.

Feeling Super lousy now.

Hey word.

Back from hearing some talk about post-grad stuff.

I realized something. i cant stand people who talk small about themselves. When they clearly do have the caliber and keep saying no and stuff. it irritates me. people are way too self-centered. I really think that many people are just facade.

I don’t like to think this way but reality just hit me again and again.

I’m lagging so behind that I am hating it.

Things that you will never know i guess…

You know what?

Why do things always happen this way?

Insignificant issues.

This perfect world that isn’t so perfect afterall.

Love is perfect.

Perfect enough to overcome the flaws of the individual.

Perfect enough to show you the true intentions of people

Perfect enough to break you.

I’m in a situation whereby I myself find it very funny. Let me share with you guys alright?

I’m a happy person, or rather pretty fortunate person living on this earth.

I have good friends,  great family and in fact wonderful people beside me.

 

I come across this person whom i became very close with,

she’s nice.. cute.. fun to be with.. surprising.. intellectual.. smart.. easy-going.. and many many good traits actually.

Being with her brought a new chapter to my life.

she was thoughtful, buying me food now and then.. making sure i wont go hungry (especially after you know my appetite=P).

Thinking of new places to bring me to.. accompany throughout the night.

However.. as days went by.. things slowly evolved. Not that any of these traits were fake.. but rather.. i grew to realize that there’s so many sides to a person that we need to know as well. True enough, my love for her was overwhelming as in my whole life, no one has ever taken care of me like that.

 

There were times when i wonder.

Why was it me?

Why am i worthy of her time?

Did she pick the wrong guy?

If she’s really going to be this nice..

I will reciprocate. Not simply because she’s nice to me. It’s because I love her.

 

 

As we stayed together.. more and more facts about her unfolded. I became weary, at the same time, wary of what I should say, do and in fact almost everything.

I know it’s unfair to say the love has became one-sided. But at times.. that’s what i feel.

 

continue later!

 

Please leave a comment or tag below =)

 

Just wanna hear from you guys out there.

Hello world!

Never expect me to start a blog here actually.

hmm really wonder how things will go on this blog. will people really spend/waste their time reading my blog over here? oh well let’s write and see!